Sunday, September 20, 2009

Slaughter-Fest '09.

I'm off on an odyssey.
The blood-letting of a lifetime.
One month.
Bullets, blood and bodies.
Everything I deem worthy, caught on camera for posterity.

This is going to be legen-
I hope no one's lactose intolerant-
DAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

God Does Listen.

Through the last eight months my dad was a broken record.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Why are you so mad/sad/grumpy?"
"You need to pray. God will listen."
I heard that one a lot.
My response.
"I won't pray because God has never once listened."
"You have to make your own luck, find your own breaks."

In those rare times when I do pray,
I dont ask for money, gifts or material possessions.
I ask for guidance.
In the month leading up to the end, I started praying.
I didnt know what else to do.
Id played every scenario over in my head a thousand times.
I was stuck with no answer.
It took me until a few days ago to open my eyes.
And I see that God was there.
He was listening.

I found the courage to do what I knew had to be done.
I had to tear open the heart of the person Id cared about more than any other.
And I thought in doing so, I would end any chance I had of finding happiness.
That karma would put me in my place.
And it has been just the opposite.
Its a miracle that lay dormant for five years.
Waiting for its time to manifest.
Waiting for me to go through my trials and tribulations.

I prayed for courage and strength.
I prayed Id find happiness.
I prayed that I would find my path.
And in turn, stay true to it.
I prayed for a sign that the hardship meant something.
I found it all.
He worked it in His own way.
Made it hard to see on the surface.
And it makes it that much more special.

God does listen.